Great title - heh?
So, this recipe was adapted from a recipe for "Slimming Asparagus Soup" that was included in the "Super Shred Diet" book that was all the rage a couple years ago. It's a terrible name. I never made this when we were on the Shred plan, but I tried this version recently and wanted to share - it's better than I thought it would be.
1 lb fresh asparagus
2 cups of water
1 TBLS of vegetarian stock base
2 potatoes, peeled and diced into a 1/2 inch dice
1/2 tsp Italian seasoning
2 TBLS olive or coconut oil
1 small onion, diced
1 shallot diced
4 cloves garlic, minced (to measure about 2 tsps)
1 tsp salt
1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
3 cups water or vegetable stock
Trim the woody stems from the asparagus and set aside (you'll need them shortly). Cut the remaining asparagus into 1 inch pieces and set aside.
In a big sauce pan, bring the water, stock base, potatoes and the woody asparagus ends to a simmer, cover and cook until the potatoes are tender - roughly 10 to 15 minutes (if you're unsure, a paring knife should pierce the potato with no effort - no crunchiness). When the potatoes are done, remove all the asparagus stems with tongs. Discard or compost the stems. Set the rest of this aside.
In a sauce pan heat the oil over medium heat, and add the onion and shallots, and cook until they are translucent - about 3 to 4 minutes. Add the asparagus pieces, salt, cayenne pepper and cook for about 3 minutes stirring frequently.
Dump everything in the big sauce pan that the potato mixture is in, add the water or vegetable stock. Cover and simmer for 20 to 30 minutes.
Remove from the heat. Allow to cool for at least 20 minutes.
Add the whole lot to a blender and blend until smooth - or use one of those hand blenders. It should be creamy, and the consistancy of cream of wheat. If it's really thick, use vegetable stock to thin.
You can serve this for company, if you are hosting vegetarians top this with toasted breadcrumbs, or those commercial fried onions. If you are hosting omnivores, top with bacon or proscuittio -everything is better with bacon, amiright?